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V Graham Norton Show Transcript July 8, 2003
transcribed by Luthien

Graham Norton: … Please welcome – Orlando Bloom is here!

[Orlando enters]

Graham: Orlando Bloom! Very good! Sit yourself down.

Orlando: Hello mate!

Graham: Hello – how are you – alright?

Orlando: yeah.

Graham: You look all sun-kissed!

Orlando: Maltese tan.

Graham: Oh yes because you’re there with ‘ The Brad Pitt’!

Orlando: I am yeah, Mr Pitt.

Graham: This is Troy?

Orlando: Yep.

Graham: Troy?

Orlando: Yep.

Graham: I'll tell you what – we’ll talk about Troy later, because well, you’re here to talk to us about Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl.

Orlando: I know!

Graham: Ooh!

Orlando: Arr!

Graham: Arr! [To audience]  and you wondered why I was doing all that – why’s he being a pirate – this is why!  [To Orlando] And this one is you and Johnny Depp… it’s the big, summer, blockbuster movie, it’s Disney, its…

Orlando: …so much fun – it’s a pirate movie!

Graham: Well I’ll tell you what – well lets see a little clip, this is kind of a good old swashbuckling bit, I don’t think it needs anything, oh well you know the clip – it’s yourself and Johnny Depp,

Orlando: Oh doing the fight thing…

Graham: Yeah, well it doesn’t need anything, it’s just…

Orlando: … it’s just a sort of fight…

Graham: … it’s just fighting, that’s what it is!

Orlando: A couple of fight roles, that’s it!

Graham: Yes and you can talk us through how you did it all afterwards, hmm, Ok!

Orlando: Yeah my motivation and stuff!

Graham: Here you are fighting in Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl.

[Shows clip of Orli and Johnny Depp fighting]

Graham: Very good! So how much of that is real, because while we were watching it you were saying ‘oh that really happened’ and dah dah da.  So all that bouncing and jumping…

Orlando: Oh well, I mean you’re wired and everything, but yeah, we were doing all that.

Graham: But it really is you?

Orlando: Yeah, yeah, yeah.  That’s actually a huge sequence in the movie; it was a really intimidating thing to have to go through, learning that fight routine because it’s like four minutes long, you know, and just when I arrived, the stunt guys showed us, like a vide, a DVD recording of what it was like, to show the director and everyone, and it was like four minutes long and they had all these sequences of us flying through the air an dup and down on horses and everything, you know – there’s crazy stuff going on in that scene and I was like ‘you want me… to do that?!’!  I was sort of, it was very intimidating, but it kind of worked, and Johnny made it really fun, as well, because he’s kind of got this incredible character going for this movie…

Graham: Because he’s quite camp in this film, isn’t he?

Orlando: Yeah, that’s sort of like, part of it!

Graham: And I’m saying that [he’s camp]!  Yeah, but he is quite kind of arch in it -

Orlando: he is – he’s kind of got this drunken, sea-legged, Keith Richards kind of twisted pirate thing going, which is brilliant, because it kind of makes for an odd couple – I kind of play the straight guy, which is sort of what was there, and he plays… I don’t know where he pulled that from – in the darkest crevices of his mind, that sort of character – it’s sort of what Johnny does really well, and it’s amazing to work with him to sort of see him do it.

Graham: I haven’t seen you since the last time you were on the show, and you were the last ever ‘So…’ one, the weekly one we used to do.  And you were on with Cybil Shepherd,

Orlando: That was fun!

Graham: Yeah, she liked you a lot!

Orlando: She did!  She had my Legolas doll – this was so funny – she had my Legolas doll between her buxom bosoms, and if you squeeze the legs, it makes the arrow arm go off, and she was doing that…! My mum was like ‘hmm, that was an interesting show’!

Graham: She didn’t hunt you down like a dog in the corridor afterwards, did she?

Orlando: No.

Graham: No - because you were faster than that!

Orlando: Hurry, run, run, run!

Graham: ‘He didn’t seem to wait for his taxi – he just left! I don’t know where he is’!

Orlando: ‘I’ll take a bus’!

Graham: It’s fine, it’s fine!  Now, the new Lord of the Rings, it’s out in…

Orlando: … December.

Graham: December, and now, you’ve mentioned ‘Legoloss’, ‘Legolass’, doll, and now for the second movie, they went a bit mad and bought out this special edition collector’s series…

Orlando: Wow!

Graham: … this is I believe, over £30, there you are!

Orlando: I haven’t seen that either!

Graham: I don’t think they saw you either!

[Orli sucks in his cheeks and pulls a face]

Graham: Actually, it’s uncanny, the resemblance is uncanny! But for a lot of your fans – and I say a lot of your fans – last time you were on, you had 29,000 fan sites dedicated to you on the internet, now, nearly two years later, there are 377,000 sites dedicated to you on the internet!  They like you!  They live alone and they like you!

Orlando: They have nothing better to do!

Graham: But now, this is sweet, so they couldn’t afford this, right, so, I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but after the show you’ll probably sue them and shut it down, but…

Orlando: Wow

Graham: No no, now don’t worry!

Orlando: I haven’t seen any of this!

Graham: No, it’s not bad.  But they’ve bought this out – it’s a Legolas paper doll, and there you are, and then

Orlando: Wow!

Graham: And all these different costumes, and you can print them off, here you go, there you are, this is the attention to detail – yep, apparently Legolas has green trunks, and you have red trunks! And you see, I thought, I thought…

Orlando: Wow, they’ve got the position of my sun tattoo and everything!

Graham: Well you see, I thought you just had a bit of scabby ringworm or something!

Orlando: Its crazy, and they’ve got the position of my elven tattoo.

Graham: Yeah.

Orlando: Wow!

Graham: Isn’t that good, isn’t that good! Also terrifying in a stalky kind of way, but, you know, credit where it’s due, that’s very good. Listen, I must just ask you, when you were growing up, did your parents, you know, because obviously you’ve been in these two real fantasy films now, kind of fairytales and stuff – Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean – did your parents ever tell you stuff when you were growing up which you believed?

Orlando: What like Father Christmas or something?

Graham: That kind of thing,

[Graham Norton questions audience then goes to break]

Graham: Welcome back! And I’m in the presence of Orlando Bloom!  Now, Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl – it’s quite a catchy title isn’t it – the premiere’s next week, but it doesn’t actually open until, it’s the 8th August, isn’t it?

Orlando: Yeah, the 8th August.

Graham: 8th august – mere mortals can go and see it. This week, celebrities!

Orlando: Can you come?

Graham: No, I’m working! I’m doing this!

Orlando: Yeah, course.

Graham: When is it?
Orlando: It’s on, Monday night.

Graham: Monday night.  You never know, might.  Now, what’s it like, doing – because we’ve seen so many pictures of Brad Pitt, in a skirt, on his mobile phone, are there paparazzi just all over the set?

Orlando: Umm, there’s a few, they’re kind of clued into it over there for films and stuff – Gladiator was filmed over there – so I suppose, there’s quite a few people snooping around.

Graham: Ok, and he plays Achilles, doesn’t he – this is all Greek…

Orlando: Mythology.

Graham: Mythology.  And you play the man who steals Helen of Troy – Paris.

Orlando: Paris, yeah.

Graham: Who’s Helen of Troy?

Orlando: Diane Kruger.  She’s -

Graham: Who’s she?

Orlando: She’s this new… she’s sort of done some stuff… she’s just started, but she’s relatively new – she’s beautiful – she’s the face that launched a thousand ships!

Graham: That’s good – some old dog: ‘Hullo’!  You’re looking at a picture… ?!

Orlando: She’s great, she’s great.

Graham: Well, congratulations, because in the new movie, in Pirates of the Caribbean, you finally get a bit of romance, you haven’t had a lot of that in your roles so far. 

Orlando: No, I haven’t – I’ve been going more for the all boy action.

Graham: Yes, lots of all boy action…

[Audience laughs]

Graham: … Oh – I thought you looked familiar! 

[Orli laughs]

Graham: But they were the first kind of kissy scenes you’ve done.

Orlando: I did a bit of kissing in Ned Kelly, actually,

Graham: Oh right.

Orlando: Which is going to be out, I think, next year, and that was over in Australia… but this was my first kind if kissy stuff.

Graham: So do people kind of give you advice, and stuff, or do you kind of just go for it?

Orlando: You sort of just give it a go really! It’s definitely a sort of nervous thing, because you’re sort of like – to tongue or not to tongue, should it be real or shouldn’t it be!

Graham: And does the director kind of say, oh slip her a bit of tongue, or do they just play mind games with you?

Orlando: No – it sort of depends – this is a Disney movie, and I’m kissing Keira Knightly, so it’s a nice, big, romantic, wet kiss, but nothing too intense.  But I suppose it’s more of a question you have with the person you’re kissing, as opposed to the director, because the director’s going to go, ‘yeah, sure, you can slip her anything you like in!’ but the actress might have more of an issue1 [Graham shows Orli a book on French Kissing, and Orli doesn’t talk for a few minutes.  He does say:]  

Orlando: My first kiss was like that (hides head in hands).  I was twelve… I didn’t know what to do with my teeth!

[Interview resumes after reading about ‘What can go wrong during a French Kiss’]

Orlando: I wonder what Keira would have said: ‘ Sorry love – you’re tongue is just too long!’

Graham: ‘The tongue, no, its too long’

Orlando: ‘Director, tongue too long!  I can’t work with this!’

Graham: ‘I can’t breathe!’

Orlando: ‘Where’s my agent?’

Graham: ‘Hey, who cast this guy with the long tongue? – It’s a nightmare, it’s a nightmare!’  Now, Orlando, you are about to hit the big screen playing the swashbuckly man.  In the end, there’s a lot of looking for a goldy thing, the treasure, the medalliony thing.  So in your honour, what we thought we’d do, we’d invite one member of the audience to try and find a hidden treasure…

[Plays treasure game with audience.  At the end of the show]

Graham: That’s it for tonight – a big thanks to our guest star, Orlando Bloom.