The Johnny Vaughn Show Jan. 17, 2002
as transcribed by angelfrances from the Orlando Bloom Fan Board
Johnny: Now my first guests have a CV between them that includes everything from
Lord of the Rings to The Patriot, and of course, Casualty. They're storming into
our cinemas this weekend in Black Hawk Down. Would you please welcome Jason
Isaacs and Orlando Bloom.
[Jason and Orlando entered to the house band
playing 'War'. They shook hands with Johnny, sat down and then Orlando sat
grinning at the audience, while they cheered.]
Jason kept on staring
behind Johnny's desk.
Johnny: What? What are you looking
Jason: There's nothing down there. It's not finished, is
Johnny: I've got a geiger counter down there.
that small woman down there? [He was joking in a rather crude
Johnny: Who, Song Yi?
[The guys chuckle. Johnny pretends to
fan something under the desk]
Johnny: Easy, Song! [To the guys] Now
you've just flown in for he premiere of Black Hawk Down, which is big huck. Now
I've seen the trailers in the cinema. [To audience] Have any of you seen the
trailers in the cinema?
Jason: You've not seen the
film though, obviously, you've just seen the trailer.
Johnny: I find it
puts me in a better position to ask you questions if I'm in a position of
Johnny: OK, but I've seen these
trailers. It looks dramatic and extraordinary, but what it is it
Jason: It's about the night in 1993, October 1993, when a hundred
American soldiers went into Mogadishu to try and take out this guy who'd been
slaughtering UN Peace Keepers, and they got trapped in a... - actually Osama bin
Laden now claims responsibility for this hornets nest of tens of thousands of
men and they fought their way out and 18 of them died and 70 were injured and
it's a...depending on where you stand, it's either regarded as one of the most
heroic evenings the American Army has ever spent, or a terrible debacle, and
Ridley Scott's shot it....
Orlando: The guys on the ground were heroes
though, weren't they? I mean we were playing the guys who were...
Yeah, it's about heroism, it's about courage, it's about two hours long and it's
about to open on Friday!
Johnny: So that means
it's not a comedy. So, um, who do you play?
Jason: I play Captain Mike
Steele, who is the Commander of these Rangers...
Johnny: [laughing] Is
that a made-up name?
Jason: It's a real name! Actually, he's a real
Johnny: No, you can't have Mike Steele [Says it in that dramatic
movie guy voice]
Orlando [really quietly, smiling]: Mike
Jason: He's in Bosnia now actually. I
hope you're not watching, Mike - sorry for...everything!
again - Nice shot of Orli's big grin at this point!]
that? [I don't actually understand what he said at this point, it was just a
quick passing comment, and was drowned out by the audience laughing so I'll
leave it for correction]
Jason: Everybody we spoke to, because he wasn't
there, I said 'I'm playing Mike Steele', and they'd go [in American accent]
'You're playing Mike Steele?', and I'd go 'Yeah', and they'd go 'Mike Steele's
6'7" tall, he's 300 pounds', and I'd go 'I know, I heard that. It's just, I was
wondering if there was anything else useful that you could tell me?', and they'd
go 'We called him the White Rhino', and I'd say 'Oh, why's that?', and they'd
say 'Well, he walked around naked everywhere - lovely body!'.
Jason: Yeah, we used to take meetings with him sitting there with
a fan on his balls.
Orlando: Jason really
Jason: And I'd go
'Yeah, is there anything else you could tell me?' 'He used to take his teeth out
Johnny: So Mike Steele sits there naked with a fan on his
Orlando: You, you know, you really didn't want to go inside
Jason's trailer, d'ya know what I mean?
Jason: Yeah, so I went bald - I
thought that would somehow encapsulate all of those things.
so who are you playing, Orlando?
Orlando: I play Private First Class
Blackburn [He started saying this in his American accent and then converted to
normal], and I fall from the helicopter, and it's kind of the beginning of the
Johnny: [keenly] Do you die early?
Orlando: It's not
really a death, he doesn't die actually. He's still alive today and he's working
as a police officer.
Jason: Orlando trained for a week to do...what? Show
[Orlando kind of leans back and yells 'aaah'!]
Orlando: I was
the, I was kind of a joke. Everyone was like 'You don't need a gun, forget about
it, you're falling from the helicopter'. It was a bit frustrating to say the
Johnny: But you weren't...this whole boot camp you all had to go
to has become quite legendary, and you obviously all had to go
Jason: They put me in charge, the boys. The American Military,
they don't really understand Hollywood! They said [American accent again]
'You're playing Mike Steele? OK, you're in charge of all of the actors - make
sure they turn up on time'. And I'd go 'I don't think you understand how it
Johnny: Yeah, but why did he (points to Orlando) have to go to
the boot camp?
Jason: Because he's a very pretty boy, and, you know, its
all men there....
Jason: I don't know if you've
seen Lord of the Rings. If you see Lord of the Rings you see him in his Danni
Johnny: He was the Lord of the Rings!
Jason: He cheers
up the whole evening, I can tell you..
Orlando: It's true. They really
wanted me there, what can I say? They really wanted me there!
[putting on accent]: You've got a pretty mouth, boy.
[Orlando does the banjo theme from 'Deliverance']
Yep, they trained for a long time, let's see if that training paid off. Here we
[Show clip from Black Hawk Down]
Jason: That's everybody!
That's pretty much the entire cast except us, really!
Orlando [nodding head]: Yeah, yeah. Although you wouldn't know
Johnny: Do you know, that just looked like a laugh!
Johnny: You know what, all the stuff you get to use, it's a good
laugh doing it, isn't it?
Jason: I know it's a comedy show and
everything, but we were standing next to the guys who were re-creating this
nightmare and their best friends were blown apart, and they did these things
that you or I would never do. Like when the helicopter gets shot down their
first thought was 'Get me to the helicopter', whereas your or my first thought
would be 'Get me out of here!'. Something's gone horribly wrong.
Yeah, I would! I wouldn't be down there wasting some bullets!
Jason: It was a very serious job - there wasn't a lot of laughing
on set. I mean, the first...the first...when we
Orlando: You didn't
really have to re-create very much - when you see, like, helicopters and guns
going off, there were helicopters and guns going off! And everyone was
like...you know there wasn't a lot of acting going on.
Jason: All the
soldiers have said it's the most accurate re-creation of a war there's ever been
Johnny: I've got to say, they do say that a lot after war films.
I've heard that before.
Orlando: No, but they
were really aware of that in boot camp, they were very aware of that, and it was
all about muzzle management, wasn't it?
Johnny: Muzzle management?!?!? I
can't believe you said that!
Orlando: That's what we liked to call it!
first time we had to do any shooting Ridley said to me [adopts accent again]
'Right, you're come along the street, right, you're gonna walk down the street
and all this @#%$ is gonna break loose - the whole building's gonna come down,
cars will blow up and all these people will be shooting, and just get to the
end, and do your lines. I said 'Well, uh, could I have something a bit more
specific than that, please? [laughing] And he said 'Alright, Alright.' So I come
down the street and everything just blew up like mad - it was like a World War -
I juts come down the street and it was like....Norman Wisdom on speed, you
Jason: And I got to the end and I was
going 'Bang, bang, bang!' and, you were laughing [to Orlando], and I do my lines
and he said 'Cut!' and I was said 'I'd really like to that again [imitates
pulling the trigger] The gun....
Orlando [laughing really hard]: The gun
Jason: A magazine fell out of my gun! Yeah, and I was going bang,
bang, bang with no bullets in the thing!
Orlando: He didn't let off any
Jason: And he said, you look scared, and I said 'Well, the bloke
I'm playing is much more butch than me!'
Johnny: Yeah well, he was Mike
Steele - the White Rhino!
Orlando: He sits around naked!
Now Orlando, talking of guns going off there, you're a young man in Hollywood at
the moment - single...
Orlando [laughing]: Yeah. It's a
Johnny: You must be...There must be loads of hacks lurking
around. Looking to...You must be having a great time.
Orlando: Yeah, yeah
I'd love to say....
Jason: (to Johnny) What sex?! You mean
Johnny: I just mean, generally...
Jason: Because it's not
great for tourists.
Orlando: No, it's not a great culture!
You've not (had a lot of ) sex?
Orlando: No, actually I'm on a plane more
often that not. I mean air hostesses ...
(Jason expresses his
Orlando: I actually... I can honestly say.. you would.. I
would love to say that I am getting it loads. I really would but...[audience
laugh] and in fact if anyone's interested....
Johnny: Just say, it they
won't know. It's what they want you to be doing!
Jason: We're not single - we'd just like to hear you
Orlando: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm getting it loads, I'm getting it
Johnny [to Jason]: You're not single.
Jason: No, no, I'm
just about to have a baby. In fact last time I saw you we were talking about the
joy of having a daughter, so we're about to have a little baby girl in a couple
of months time.
Johnny: Yeah. It's a good line -
you get girls with that line! You get a a good effect!
Orlando: Yeah, that's a good line, a good line
doctor did a scan and he took 10 minutes signing, and I said 'What's the sex?',
and he turned and said 'It's either going to be, I'm pretty sure it's a girl, a
little girl, or a boy with a tiny penis!
[in macho voice]: It's a girl!
Johnny: I've got
some quickies for you - I always like to tie up with some quickies, in a manner
Orlando: Oh really?
Jason [laughing]: What, in front
of everybody? [Another crude joke]
Johnny : Yeah, if they wanna watch
it's their problem! Ok, here we go. Now you played, Jason, you played a
transvestite in the Keanu Reeves movie 'Sweet November'. What's your dress
Jason: Er, just big up top and big arse really -the biggest they
Johnny: Ok, now Orlando, making the movie you stayed at the
Rabbat[?] Hilton in Morocco which is famed for its karaoke nights - what was
Orlando: Errm...I can't remember what it's called [turns to
Jason]...Bowie, that Bowie song...
Jason: You did Barbara Streisand!
Orlando: Oh all right! I can't keep any
Johnny: You are in Lord of the Rings which is a good pension
plan for you - that's three years going forward.
Orlando: Right, yeah.
[At this point he kind of sighed, smiled and just looked really
Johnny: Is it true that you all got a tattoo, everyone who was on
Orlando: Yes, we all got a tattoo, and in fact more recently the
director, the producer, the New Line executive and the head of special effects
all got '10', which is actually not '9', yeah? But it is '9' now.
Orlando: No, they all got the number '10' and we've all got
'9' because there's nine in the Fellowship.
Johnny: So you all got
this...so you're all mad.
Orlando: So they're like the tenth member of
Jason: Does it go up to 11?
Orlando [in jokey way]:
Johnny [retreating with flailing arms]:
I don't want to step on any toes!
Orlando: He's just jealous he hasn't
Johnny: What? Um, why did you indicate his
[Everyone laughs again]
Jason: Actually in Morocco we did
all get tattoos. We did on 'Black Hawk Down'. We all had, like, two-inch, like,
'Get me [-] Mogadishu' [They blanked a word here - I have no idea what it's
supposed to be, honestly]
Johnny: Did you? Ah. Nice, nice. [to Orlando]
But you were mad to get that tattoo, because you know what you should have
Johnny: You should have had a VIKING TATTOO!
[They show a rather stupid clip of three arms with Viking tattoos
- Note to foreigners: Don't think that all British TV is this
Johnny: Excellent! Aren't they the best?
Johnny: I don't know why I find that so funny! [To
Orlando] You're doing Lord of the Rings. You're going to be attracting, I would
think, some pretty obsessive, weird fans. Are you ready for that?
Tee hee - does he mean the likes of us?
Orlando: Um... [looks to Jason]
Jason: Don't look at me, I'm not
Orlando: Um, no...I think, my agent keeps telling me she's
wading through fan-mail...
Johnny: Wading through!
that's the way she puts it! I'm like, so I've got to work out what to with that,
I haven't looked at it yet.
Johnny: Look out for green biro. I only say
that because last week we had two extreme fans.....