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Zoe Ball on Film Transcript, Sky Movies Premiere (UK), January 25, 2003
typed by Vicky of My Fair Warrior

Harry Knowles, “Internet Guru” (of aintitcool.com) talks about what’s happening with Orlando in 2003.

Harry: Everyone wants to know about Orlando Bloom! He’s in Pirates of the Caribbean with Johnny Depp, if you saw the World Premieres footage of The Lord of the Rings then you saw Orlando Bloom and he had a little moustache and little goatee thing down here *points to chin* and he looked all sort of debonair. Well that’s why he looked all debonair because he’s going to be a pirate in Pirates of the Caribbean – that guy is in everything right now, isn’t he?! 

Zoe Ball talks about Ned Kelly and mentions that ‘a bearded Orlando plays Joe Byrne’. They show the teaser trailer but can’t really see Orlando in it.

Zoe: The third Orlando Bloom project is a little closer to home. It’s called The Calcium Kid and it was shot in and around London. It’s a comedy about Jimmy, a milkman given a shot at a World boxing title. It marks the directorial debut of Alek de Rakoff who also penned the script. Here he talks intriguingly about his early relationship with Guy Ritchie.

(Interviews with the actors keep changing from one to the other if you know what I mean, which is why some of their sentences are quite short)

Alek talks about Guy Ritchie briefly.

Orlando (on Alek): He’s such a strong actor’s director in every sense of the word. He just knows how to get the right performance out of you and he’s been a lot of fun to work with.

Alek: Orlando was an interesting choice for me and he actually changed my complete opinion really of how this character should play out and we’re very lucky to have got him and he’s done a really wonderful job.

(A little clip of Orlando “punching” the camera)

Alek: It’s set in the boxing world but it’s not really a boxing movie…

Orlando He’s a milkman but he likes to box as well…

Tamer Hassan (Pete Wright): It’s a week run-up to a world title fight…

Orlando: And the British Champion is in the ring preparing to fight the World Champion…

Tamer: And then an absolute nobody just turns up from nowhere and takes it away from him…

Orlando: I have a lucky punch, lay him to the ground. He gets up, furious, does a flurry of punches and then lays a huge right on me and breaks his fist on my head…

Alek: And by default he gets the chance to fight the Middle-Weight Champion of the World…

Orlando: ‘Cause I’m a milkman, I drink a lot of milk and I’ve got strong bones, hence The Calcium Kid.

(Small clip from the film)

Orlando: He’s got this fantastic or not fantastic at all boxing manager…

Omid Djalilli (manager Herby Bush): I would describe him as the kind of Bazil Fawlty [a character played by John Clease, he’s very clumsy and daft, you might know Clease from Monty Python, he’s very funny]

(Clip of Orlando and Omid, Omid looks as if he is messing about)

Orlando: Jimmy, very openly and naively, puts his complete faith and belief into Herby Bush and Herby Bush puts him in some ridiculous situations which are just funny, you know? 

(Clip of Jimmy walking into a press conference dressed head to toe in Union Jack clothing with a Union Jack hat and walking a dog!)

Alek: We were doing a scene where Orlando has to punch him [Tamer]…

Tamer: And I actually let Orlando hit me…

Alek: And Tamer’s a bit of a nut and he was an ex-boxer and *laughing* Orlando’s not a nut and he’s not an ex-boxer!

Orlando: I hated it!

Alek: *laughing* He didn’t want to do it!

Tamer: I kept saying to him, ‘Orlando, hit me!’

Orlando: He was like, ‘Lay it on me, son, come on, lay it on me!’

Alek: And Tamer said a few interesting things to Orlando and Orlando chinned him…

Orlando: I did, a couple of times!  

(Clip of Orlando hitting him)

Orlando: I was a bit worried about playing comedy ‘cause I didn’t really see myself as a comedian but … I still don’t!  

Omid: I think Orlando’s a real natural and he doesn’t need to try and be funny…  

Alek: The comedy is in the writing and in the environments and the situations, and I always felt the comedy works much better if you play it straight.  

(Clip of Orli being funny)

Alek: It’s not a particularly serious film but hopefully people will find it engaging and funny.    

Zoe: The Calcium Kid will be at cinemas later this year.